🦬 Buffalo Brouhaha: Arizona Gal Faces Off with Furry Freight Train in Yellowstone! πŸš‘

TL;DR: A leisurely stroll in Yellowstone National Park for a 47-year-old Arizonian turned into a literal wild ride as she got gored by a charging bison. πŸšΆβ€β™€οΈβš‘οΈπŸ¦¬ The woman, who sustained severe injuries to her chest and abdomen, got airlifted to an Idaho hospital. 🚁 How close was she to the bison before it charged? We don’t know yet. But park officials advise keeping a 25-yard distance from these burly beasts, especially during their ‘horny’ season. πŸ•ΆοΈπŸ’”

Get this, dudes and dudettes! Just another day at Yellowstone National Park, right? All tranquil waters and whispering winds, with the majestic bison grazing peacefully nearby. Until… BAM! A two thousand pound hunk of fur and muscle decides it’s time to spice things up a bit! 🌢️πŸ”₯

Picture the scene: our Arizonian lady (who, for the record, we’re dubbing Bison Battle Bella) was simply enjoying a stroll with a pal near the Lake Lodge Cabins. The majestic Yellowstone Lake on one side, a pair of hulking bison on the other. Then, as the duo decided to turn away from these monolithic mammals, one of the bison threw a curveball (or should we say curve-horn?) and charged right at Bison Battle Bella. πŸ”„πŸƒβ€β™€οΈπŸ¦¬

Speeding like a fur-clad freight train, the bison struck our unfortunate heroine, inflicting some serious battle scars. This prompted an immediate air evacuation to an Idaho hospital. In terms of her condition, details are hush-hush right now. 🀫πŸ₯

So, here’s the big question on everyone’s lips: how close did Bison Battle Bella get to the bison before it went all bull-in-a-china-shop? Yellowstone’s top dogs are keeping mum about it, stating only that the incident is still “under investigation”. πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™€οΈπŸ”

Now, you may be thinking, “Bison, schmison! They’re just oversized cows, right?” Wrong, my friends! Females can tip the scales at a whopping 1,000 pounds, with the dudes beefing up to a hefty 2,000 pounds. That’s like getting tackled by a small car…on steroids! πŸš—πŸ’ͺ

And here’s a public service reminder: Yellowstone recommends you maintain more than a 25-yard distance from bison and other large animals. And especially during mid-July through mid-August – a period fondly known as their ‘horny’ season – they can get a bit…err…testy, and can outrun humans by a country mile. πŸƒβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’¨πŸ¦¬

This year, this is the first time a bison has gone rogue on a park visitor. The last episode aired on June 28, 2022, when another visitor found themselves on the pointy end of a bison’s bad day.

So, folks, do we need a ‘How Close is Too Close?’ campaign for approaching wildlife? And should our park guidelines be more explicit about the real risks of chilling out with these burly beasts? Because, when you’re in the middle of a bison maelstrom, 25 yards might just seem like one yard too few! What do you think? πŸ€”πŸ—―οΈ

Disclaimer: This story is based on actual events. However, it does not provide recommendations on how to handle wildlife encounters. Always follow park guidelines when visiting areas with wildlife. πŸ“œπŸ¦Œ