Hey Chicago, Monday Night Fever or Just Another Lawndale Episode? 🌃🔫
TL;DR; Five peeps got a surprise bullet party in North Lawndale. All alive and kickin’, but the shooter? Ghosted. 🕺💃👻
Late dinners, Netflix bingeing, and a surprise shooting spree. Seems like a Monday night in the North Lawndale neighborhood on Chicago’s West Side has more drama than your favorite soap opera. 🍿📺
Five residents found themselves with a bit more lead in their system than recommended. The ambiance was set around 8 p.m. on the ever-lit South Lawndale Avenue (precisely, the 1300-block, if you’re into specifics). So who caught a bullet? 🕵️♂️
A 31-year-old dude’s knee got a surprise hello! 👖🔴
56-year-old lady’s ankle became a tad more metallic. 👠🎯
Mr. 38 decided to cushion his buttocks a bit. 🍑⚠️
A 51-year-old man’s ankle also joined the bullet club. 🧦💥
Lastly, a 63-year-old’s forearm got an unsolicited piercing. 💪🕳
Good news? They’re all good! Or at least, that’s what the doctors say. But that’s got us thinking, with such precision, was it a deranged acupuncturist behind the gun? Or just someone with a wicked aim and a weird sense of body parts?🤔
Now, while our bullet guests got a quick limo ride to the hospital 🚑💨, Mr. or Ms. Trigger Happy is still out there, probably contemplating their next game of “shoot and scoot.”
The city’s finest, Area Four detectives, are all over this. But given the city’s recent track record (63 shot, 12 no longer with us, just last weekend) makes us wonder… Chicago, what’s your deal? Are you trying to one-up Gotham without Batman? And with no one in custody, should we be expecting a sequel soon? 😳🦸♂️
Is it time for Chicagoans to trade in their deep-dish pizzas for kevlar vests? Or should we just accept that some parts of the city come with an extra side of lead? 🍕🛡🤷♂️
